I wrote again last night! From the time I got home from work until 2 am! I took a short intermission when my sister came over for a bit but then I was right back at it. It felt great to write again and I woke up this morning excited to get back to it. It’s hard to explain the feeling of being able to write again. After pushing and pushing myself and barely getting anywhere, it’s like someone opened the flood gates and it’s just all rushing out. That sounds so corny but I honestly can’t think of a better way to explain it. It’s such a release. This must be what addicts feel like when they finally take a hit of whatever drug they have been craving.
I finally understand what all those people mean when they say, “if you’re a real writer, you have to write.” That always made me feel so defensive when I couldn’t write. Like screw you, I’m a writer who can’t write! But now that I am writing it explains so many feelings I was having and couldn’t explain. I was misinterpreting what they were saying. I feel happier today. I feel more relaxed. I feel like all this negative energy I had been carrying around is just gone. I can’t believe I never put that together before now. I am writer and I have to write. If I don’t I will be unhappy.
Now, I just have to find a way to keep it flowing. I am scared to lose this feeling. What if I wake up tomorrow and it’s gone? Now that I know what it is that’s causing the stress, I don’t want to go back. I have to hold onto this for as long as I can.
Wish me luck!
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