I wrote again last night! From the time I got home from work until 2 am! I took a short intermission when my sister came over for a bit but then I was right back at it. It felt great to write again and I woke up this morning excited to get back to it. It’s hard to explain the feeling of being able to write again. After pushing and pushing myself and barely getting anywhere, it’s like someone opened the flood gates and it’s just all rushing out. That sounds so corny but I honestly can’t think of a better way to explain it. It’s such a release. This must be what addicts feel like when they finally take a hit of whatever drug they have been craving.
I finally understand what all those people mean when they say, “if you’re a real writer, you have to write.” That always made me feel so defensive when I couldn’t write. Like screw you, I’m a writer who can’t write! But now that I am writing it explains so many feelings I was having and couldn’t explain. I was misinterpreting what they were saying. I feel happier today. I feel more relaxed. I feel like all this negative energy I had been carrying around is just gone. I can’t believe I never put that together before now. I am writer and I have to write. If I don’t I will be unhappy.
Now, I just have to find a way to keep it flowing. I am scared to lose this feeling. What if I wake up tomorrow and it’s gone? Now that I know what it is that’s causing the stress, I don’t want to go back. I have to hold onto this for as long as I can.
Wish me luck!
Don’t forget to follow me here and on Twitter @Andythewriter33
I have started and erased this post about 10 times. Everything I write just sounds so stupid. I know I am my own worst critic but so far everything has just felt like ramblings and tangents. Nothing I’ve written has flowed from one paragraph to the next. Or even from one sentence the next. It’s all so forced. I’ve gotten stuck in this habit of thinking too much about how people will react or what people will think of me. It’s a strange feeling. I usually don’t let those feelings get to my blog writing. I mean the whole point of these is to work through my writing struggles and it shouldn’t matter what people think of me. It shouldn’t matter if anyone even reads these. All that matters is I’m writing again.
I’m also reading again. I’m dragging myself through White Oleander. I am so close to finishing it. That’s my goal for today. To finish that damn book. I don’t know why I’m having a hard time with it. She’s a good writer. She’s great at describing the scene. I can really picture it as I read.
I feel like it’s the exact opposite of mine. I can picture everything in my head but I worry the readers won’t be able to. That’s something I need to work on. I need to be practicing my descriptive writing. Since my vignettes kind of fell short maybe I could start doing that. At least once a week I need to describe a scene from my daily life. Anything, any place, it doesn’t matter. Once I’ve gotten better at describing things around me that I can actually see I can start working on describing the things in my head.
Alright! I’ve managed to give myself a new assignment during this post! At least it should help get me writing more. I’ll keep you posted.
Don’t forget to follow me here and on Twitter @Andythewriter33
I follow this Facebook page called The Writer’s Circle. They post all sorts of stuff about writing. They often post about writer’s block which makes me feel better about mine because clearly it is a very common issue with writers. I just read a comment where someone suggested a way around it that I am going to try today.
- Make a list of tasks the protagonist needs to complete before the end of the story
- Put in chronological order
- How can they complete these tasks?
- Add scenes that will drive the protagonist to complete these tasks
I feel like if I do this with both the protagonist and the antagonist it will help me to get moving again. (Not entirely sure how to give credit for this idea. If anyone knows let me know. thanks!)
My biggest problem with writing this book is I can see the scenes playing out in my head. I know exactly what I want to happen and how it will happen but I am having such a hard time actually getting the images out of my head and putting words to them. It’s like I lost my ability to describe. Hopefully, if I just break it down like the above list suggests I can finally get something down on paper. That is my goal for today. To start working my way down that list. You know how much I enjoy a good list and crossing things off said list.
I think another big cause for my writer’s block is the fear of failure. I’m sure I have covered this before in past posts but my fear of rejection is almost over powering when it comes to finishing this book. I need to find a way to be brave and just say “fuck it!” I also need to remember that it’s okay if people don’t like it. Sure, it would be a lot cooler if I wrote a book that became a best seller but it’s okay if that doesn’t happen. The important thing is finishing the book and getting it out there. Having a copy of it sitting on my book shelf reminding me everyday that I actually completed a life goal. That’s what I need.
Another thing I am going to do today is write a game plan. Due dates for parts of my book to keep myself focused and get me to finish it. I need to decide a new final due date for my first draft. This is where a teacher would come in handy. If they could just come up with the deadlines for me that would be great! I don’t know why I am more inclined to stick to deadlines from someone else than I am my own deadlines.
Okay, it’s time to start working. I can do this. I am being positive. I am being open minded. I am staying focused! Here I go!
Don’t forget to follow me here and on Twitter @Andythewriter
Remember that time I was going to finish my book by the end of 2016? Yea…me too.
Welp, dwelling on that fact won’t finish my book so I guess it is time to get back to it.
I also didn’t meet my goal of reading 24 books last year. So I guess I will start again with that goal.
I was pretty good at not accomplishing anything I said I was going to accomplish…when I put it that way, it’s hard not to feel bad about it. But, if I am good at anything it is accepting the things I can’t change and moving on. Sitting here feeling bad about myself will only give me more reason not to write or read or do anything. There is no use discouraging myself.
So, here we go again.
My Goals for 2017
- Finish writing my book
- Read at least 24 new books
- Post at least 1 blog a week
- Pay off 1 student loan
- Start saving for Ireland 2018
That’s all I can really think of at the moment. It may grow it may not. I am going to work on creating some deadlines to keep me on track with my book as well. If anyone has suggestions on creating deadlines let me know! I am clearly terrible at sticking to things I set for myself.
As for what I am currently reading, I am still technically reading White Oleander. I also started another book my friend suggested but haven’t made it very far. I will probably need to start that one again. It is called Legend. It is the first of 3 books in a series. Time to start setting aside reading time everyday!
Don’t forget to follow my pretty dull blog and my slightly less dull twitter @Andythewriter33
Happy New Year Everyone!